MUMBAI: It is said that on the final day of the grand Ganpati festival, the Lord takes on a human avatar and mingles with His devotees at the time of immersions.
So, as per the annual routine, every TV channel and newspaper dispatched their best reporters to Mumbai's famous Girgaum Chowpatty and Juhu Beach to try and get a scoop by interviewing Ganpati in his human form.
One sharp news hound at Girgaum very well used his intuitive and journalistic skills to actually spot the Lord, standing on the edge of the great Arabian Sea, the gentle sea waves caressing his feet, and seagulls hovering above him happily, blessed by his presence.
The sky was turning crimson-orange with the setting sun, as Ganpati (clad in blue jeans and a trendy t-shirt) was quietly admiring the red ball go down the horizon. A loud `aarti' of a giant Ganesh idol was taking place just a few feet away on this beach.
"So, you are Lord Ganpati, aren't you sir?! I could easily make that out by the way you were looking seawards, instead of the big `aarti' taking place on the coast. And, raising your right hand as if to bless, every time someone touched the feet of that idol, or garlanded it," gushed the news reporter, hardly able to hide his excitement.
Startled by the journalist's keen observations, Ganpati said: "Yeah man, you got me there! I am indeed Ganesha, and happy to be going back to my `gaon' (heaven) today."
A bit intrigued by this comment, the reporter asked if he liked his 11-day stay on Earth this year.
"Ah, well... it is always nice to be back on this 'dharti' to be with my devotees. But, to be frank, it seems to be getting noisier and noisier every passing year. At every pandal, they put the stereos and loudspeakers very close to me. So you know what I mean, eh?" said Ganpati.
"Yes Lord, I get it. In fact, anti-noise activists had noted that sound decibels were way beyond dangerous limits at various immersion spots this year. But, c'mon God! Just once a year we get to celebrate so much," reasoned the scribe.
The Lord smiled, and said: "Yeah man! And just once a year you also have a noisy blast at Diwali, once and year you guys have the Govinda fest, and I don't know how many more celebrations."
"Oh my god! You sure are against noise. Apart from that, did you have any other issues here?" asked the scoop hungry reporter.
"Yeah, you humans seem to be getting way too greedy and corrupt. Every time I return, there is a bigger scam breaking. Sometimes it's coal, guns, and telecom. And now it's a water irrigation scam. I'm absolutely angry about all these scams, man!" said the Lord.
Just then, as the giant idol next to them was finally immersed in the water amidst happy chants of `Ganpati Bappa Morya! Pudchya varshi lavkar ya!', the news reporter was surprised to see a suited-booted gent coolly emerge out of the sea and greet Ganpati.
"He is Kuber, our bank manager at heaven. He's come to receive me, on my way back," Ganpati introduced Kuber, the god of wealth, to the stunned reporter.
Kuber whispered something in the Lord's ear and then turned to the reporter and said: "I've asked Lord Ganpati to take at least 20% of the offerings he has received this fiscal visit with him back to heaven."
Even before the flummoxed journalist could ask "why", Kuber further stated: "You see, we're going through a mild recession at our place, due to all the dirty corruption happening here. It's all relative really, though it may sound complicated... so we can use some of the good money of the devotees here."
"B-b-but... why do you need money at all?? You are GODS, for heaven's sake!!" cried the reporter.
Kuber smiled benignly and replied: "Calm down human. You see, everyone needs money, whether it is in paper format here, or the karmic form up there. And, as one of your own leaders has said recently, Money Does Not Grow On Trees!"
With that parting shot, both Kuber and Lord Ganpati vanished in the vast expanse of the sea, leaving behind a sea of humanity and an absolutely stunned reporter.
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